A lot has happened this last month or so. A couple of new begginings is my brown/black hair phase. I ended up dying it again while listening to Nirvana, The Strokes, and some old Arctic Monkeys songs. It was actually a great time and I was snapping super hard. Another thing that began is my love for Alex Turner, he is thirty four and he has a voice like honey and I love it. He also doesn’t know I exsist. 😦

One ending for me is a couple relationships, for instance the relationship I have with a couple of family members, and also a couple of friends. Also the quarter is slowly coming to an end and my grades get lower and lower which makes me a little upset, but at least I am trying. Also Driver Ed has started and I am already over it, like I want it to end. It just takes up so much time, and we also don’t get any break, and it lasts 3 hours, so I get antsy.

Hear me out thought, possible new beggining: pink hair. I don’t know why but there is just a part of me deep in my soul, that just wants pink hair. I want to look like 2010 Demi Lavato for some reason I guess. In all honesty though, I should just bleach my hair and leave it, but I am scared that all of my hair will fall out since I have a problem with dying it. But that’s a couple of begginings and ends that are going on in my life.

The quote I choose isn’t really a quote but is song lyrics. The quote is, “In time I will leave the city, for now I will stay alive”, from the song Leave the City, by Twentyone Pilots. I actually want to get those lyrics tattooed on my body because I am a rebellious little teenager, but for real, I love this quote. Also it’s in a Twentyone Pilots song, so whats not to like about is.

So to me this means persistence is key. Like no matter how crappy life gets, it will get better. It might not get better now, not in a week, not even in a year, but it will get better, you will get out. With the, “For now I will stay alive”, part I think it sort of means to focus on the positive and work for better. Like you might not be able to get out right now but you will eventually. Sometimes you might not have the energy to work for better though, and that’s okay.

I can relate to this because I want to get out of South Dakota. I feel like I just don’t really fit in hear I guess, cliche I know, but still. I can’t get out of here thought cause I am thirteen and my mom would never move somewhere else. I know that I can’t get out right now but I am working hard so I will be able to eventually. I am studying hard and trying to get good grades, so when I turn 18 and I graduate, I can get out and find somewhere that I can thrive in.

What does the quote, “That which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny,” “Be it through intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on by none other then ourselves,” mean to me? Well to me it means that we are in control of our own life. It means that whatever actions we make and the consequences they have are of our own fault. Whether they be good consequences or bad they are because of ourselves.

The actions we make whether we meant to or not, we are to be held responsible. I feel like can honestly be kind of connected to honesty. Like certain people will never take responsibility for their actions, but at the end of the day it’s they own fault. Just be honest about it and accept your punishment and move on, it’s not that hard. I feel like I sort of sound mean or unempathetic but I don’t really mean to come across that way. I think that people appreciate honesty more then they do lies.

I apply this quote to my life by making choices that are good for me and my future. Also I try as much as possible to take responsibility for my own actions. I do try but sometimes fail and I can kind of play the blame game sometimes but I guess in the end we all make mistakes. The important thing is that we learn from them and try not to make them again.

My day with Shrek would be magical. I would wake up in his house that is located in his swam. I would go to the kitchen and find him making me a disgusting breakfast. I would end up choking most of it down because I did’t want to hurt his feelings cause he thought he was a great cook, but he wasn’t. As per usual the donkey barges in and finishes the rest of my food while going on about the fantastic adventure we are were about to go on. I personally really enjoyed the adventures we had and got dressed.

When everyone was ready we were out the door into the meadows. Shrek and I were laughing and stumbling along the path, we honestly had no idea where we were going. It was across a river or something like that was all the information I had gathered. We were walking around very soft land when all of a sudden the ground caved in and we were falling. Once we stopped we had landed in water, except we could breathe. We found a very ornate castle which happened to be vacant where we randomly decided that we would live.

A year and a half later the castle was just like home, a little swampy, because Shrek didn’t like how nice it was so he messed it up, but I didn’t mind. About another year later Shrek actually confessed his love and we got married that night. Donkey actually found a geko named Muarice, within the castle and they too got married. Me and Shrek had kids and met a couple neighbors who live a few miles away under water too. They come over about once a week or so to eat some good food and play board games. We lived happily ever after.

If I were the queen of the school I feel like I wouldn’t change a whole lot, but just kind of tweak a couple things and make a couple additions.

1. I would add a coffee shop in the cafeteria- Why, because, school starts at 8:20 A.M., and for people who don’t always get an appropriate amount of sleep need caffeine.
2. In the hallways, before 5th period starts people cannot speak over a whisper, it is the morning and people are sill trying to wake up and they don’t like loud sounds that early. If they break this rule they have to be at school at 7:00 A.M. and help janitors until 8.
3. The students in grade 8 and up get to have nap time due to imense stress and pressure put on them through out the day. If you don’t use nap time wisely you never get it ever again.
4. You have to be nice to everyone, not a whole lot of people enjoy school as it is so when people are mean it just makes everyone’s life harder. If you break this rule you get detention for 3 hours after school.
5. This one again is more of an addition, but you can read read on your phone or go on your phone if you have your work done. If everything is done you have freetime one your hands and I think you should be able to use that how you want.

Those are all my rules and additions 🙂

I see a whole lot of student, I can’t talk back to them but I can here everything they are saying. It makes me sad sometimes because it does get awfully lonely. I would like to think if I could speak I would be very chatty, but I can not, so I guess I will never know. Seeing as how I hear everything, I hear the and the bad. I hear when students are being rude, and I also hear when they are being nice. I imagine if I could smile I would be smileing most of the time.

My worst fear is when they plug me into the wall. Although when I get plugged in I look pretty, it hurts me greatly. I feels as though I am being set on fire, and let me tell that does not feel good. Even though I am in pain for most of my exsistance it is ok, be cause the people I am around make me very happy.

The saddest I have ever been through was when I didn’t have enough energy to light all of my lights. All of my light are special to me and are like my very own children. But one unfortunate day I just didn’t have enough energy to light one of my very own children. I had to set it to rest and find another light so the rest of my children won’t feel so sad. It was a sad day and my light of mine will always have a place in my heart.

Dear Jon, (my brother)

Hey brother, how are you? I is December and I am like actually not that pumped, like I have just been in a funk and its not good. I have been listening to a lot of Arctic Monkeys and The Neighbourhood. I don’t really think that it’s healthy but that is just my opinion. Also I wanna dye my hair pink and I don’t really know why but it’s just something that my soul is telling me to do. I know for a fact that you wouldn’t approve.

I really want to move to California, I want to get my degree in Cosmetology and be a makeup artist for someone really dope. Like I just wanna go somewhere where I can just do my own thing and thrive. I want to get a apartment, decorate it and do my own thing without anyone getting in my way. But for now I will stay here because I can’t do what I want, and also to do all that I need a high school education, so my plans are postponed for about 4 and a 1/2 years.

Also I have just been way to out of it for Christmas. Like I am trying to be holly and jolly but it feels like some has peed on my Christmas tree and I am not having it. Another thing, I absolutely hate school. Like I have been busy most day I like be in my bed, and when I am not in my bed I lowkey wanna cry. But that is just a little bit of my life. See ya when you come home.

Intangible

Sleep – I love sleep so much, I am literally so thankful for it. It lets me escape life and stay in my bed for long periods of time without get judged.

Music – I love music so much, like it is actually the best thing in the world. Like music has helped me through so much, and it’s one of those things that are always gonna be there for me.

Friendships – I am thankful for the friendships I have cause those people have been through it with me and we are still here thriving, well kind of. Also I am thankful for the friendships I have lost, cause they all taught me something in life.

Tangible

Makeup – Makeup will always hold a special place in my heart, like music it has helped me though a lot. Like just the concept of being able to change how someone looks with a couple brush strokes still blow my mind.

Taco Bell – Taco Bell and Twenty One Pilots, the best thing in the world. It literally tastes so good, that and Chipotle. Also like Taco Bell lowkey cures my depression, its swaggy.

Coffee – Coffee is such a blessing from God himself, it is so good. Like it helps wake me up and be productive and it tastes so go like its actually heavenly.

1. Generation Why by Conan Grey This song slaps so hard like this is one of those one songs that just make you genuienly happy and I just love it.
2. Out of my League by Fitz and Tantrums Every I feel like anytime something good happened to me this song was playing, I just have a lot of happy memories connected to this so when I listen to it, it makes me happy.
3. Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood The reason this song is on this playlist is because I was and still am obessessed with this song and I probably will be for a long time.
4. Fingers by Lil Peep This song is a vibe and that is literally all I can say, like this is the song you blast in your headphones on a rainy day.
5. Tear in my Heart by Twenty One Pilots I want this song to be the song that I have my first dance with my husband to, like this song is so good I could literally cry.
6. Cancer by Twenty One Pilots This is a sad bop, like the bass and Tyler Joseph’s voice combined, it is just so freaking beautiful.
7. Ends of the Earth by Lord Huron, I just love this song like it’s a love song but it’s realistic and I just love it so much.
8. Feel Something by Bea Miller Like three months ago I didn’t know this song and looking back it was a sad life I was living, like this song is so amazing.
9. Cadillac Girl by Only Real This song is the song I had on repeat this summer, it just takes me back to sunny days and long nights.
10. Ride or Die by the Knocks This song is just so real and again it is just a solid bop, and I can always vibe to it.

Every Friday the thirteenth we should celebrate movies, televison shows, and actors. Why we should do this is to like kind of raise awareness of the traumas actors face sometimes when getting into character. Like I know for scary movies, for example Pennywise, when he was filming the movie his personality changed as he got into the role of the terrifying clown. There are many movies were that is the case, The Shining, The Joker, The Conjurings, and there are many more. Also, I don’t know if this is just me but movies have literally like shaped me and my child hood.

How we would celebrate this is nothing would be open, no banks, no grocery stores, nothing that is local, and not a like corperate franchise, would be closed. There would also be like an awards ceremony, kinda like the Grammys, or something like that were like good movies would get awards. Before the awards ceremony though, it would be a tradition were you would watch whatever movies you want. Netflix would be free, Hulu, every place where you can watch movies would be free.

Every family would gather and watch each others favorite movies. They spend quality time and bond over movies and eat all the food they want. It would be a national holiday for every one and it would be a day to appreciate the great things that these actors have brought into our lives. Esentally it would be a really dope Thanksgiving with movies.